Pastor Jackie

    I was reading a blog from one of our youth today, who has begun experiencing problems at their school because of who they are.  As I was thinking about this problem along with the problems that the students were talking about at the youth forum, I began to wonder when we started teaching hate as a family value.  I came to the realization that we have been condoning hate for centuries.  That’s what war is mostly about isn’t it?  Possibly greed, which often gets identified as safety.  But this isn’t about war, this is about hate.
    I think about how we teach each other that it is ok to hate.  We do it, often, unaware.  We teach our kids that they will fit in better if they have the right “suff”, if they do what the popular kids do, if they talk the way that everybody else does.  I know, some of you are saying, “I don’t teach my kids those things”, and on some level you are right.  And yet, we as a society teach people those things every single day.  We have ads on television that show the “cool” people with the latest technology.  We have ads in magazines that suggest what we should do and how we should behave.  We value as a society, the best, the most expensive (even if it isn’t the best), the skinniest, the prettiest and rarely even give a head nod to the “typical” person.  
    Yes, we teach hate every single day when we refuse to stand up for the jokes that are offensive, the kid who gets picked last for the ball team cause they aren’t “athletic” (you know there are other ways to divide kids up then having them choose), when we don’t call people who turn up missing in our circle of friends, when we can’t help with a project because “we” are too important.  One way or another, we have to work very intentionally to overcome that sort of hatred.  May it be so.

    “{After Coach called me a ‘faggot’}, my heart began to beat like a drum….If a teacher, someone paid to instill tolerance in my life, was going to call me a ‘faggot’, then what chance did I have?”  James Slusser  
    Lyle Qualls: “On the day of the talent show…I got up and walked to the stage when they called my name, and with all of my nerve, belted out the song I had practiced so hard. …{Then} people started yelling names throughout the crowd.  ‘Queer’ and ‘fag boy’ were the only words I could hear. …School was once one of the only things I had.  Now even it has been taken away.”
    These are actual quotes from real people reported in Teaching Tolerance Oct. 8, 2008.  You may not think that has anything to do with Wichita Kansas, but you are wrong.  It has everything to do with our humble community because the same things are happening in our schools to our kids.  From the youth forum, we learned about kids that are thrown against lockers while administrators turn their heads, principles who say “Thats so gay” in a derogatory tone (as if that matters), students who are spit on, have their lockers painted with fag or gay on them, teachers who are repeatdly harrassed because they ‘appear’ gay.  Yes, right here in the Bible belt, in the land that supposedly knows best what Jesus would do, we continue to marginalize the vulnerable, ignore the law, and spread hate by ‘our’ interpretation of who and what Jesus is.
    As if you need to hear me say it one more time, I will continue to write, talk, shout, preach, and act out against this type of abuse and discrimination.  The God that I serve, was famous for telling me to love my neighbor as my self.  My Bible doesn’t have any ‘excepts’ in it.  Any yes, if you are reading anger in my tone, you have properly understood this writing.

    I found this most interesting poem from St. Augustine this morning.  Sometimes I forget the ancients have much wisdom to share with us, yet we get caught up in whats new and current.  I wonder if some days we might not be better off if we would turn off the television and the radio, and read something that was written hundreds of years ago and see if it is still relevant today.  We might find, that we still deal with some of the same problems, and still yearn for the same connectedness to God.  Perhaps we will find this connectedness in our silence.
    You awake us to delight
    in your praises;
    for you made us for yourself,
    and our hearts
    are restless until they
    rest in You.

    St. Augustine

    I’ve been thinking alot about the changes that are needed at the church.  Some with people, but most with systems.  How do we create systems that will work for the work that we need to do.  That is certainly one question.  The other is perhaps more difficult to answer and harder to pinpoint.  How do we help everyone get out of the boat at the same time and jump on board with the new ideas.  AND just as important, how do we stay positive.  
    I think it is the gossip and malicious back biting that tears not only people but churches apart.  We can change the system, we can fine tune it, we can totally overhaul it, but if we have destroyed people in the process, we may not be able to recover for some time.  I find it interesting that some of the people who don’t want to be hurt the most are the ones so anxious to spread rumors and lies about other people.  When confronted about their behavior, they all of a sudden have a memory lapse about their behavior, often remembering exactly what someone else did to hurt them.
    I find myself often wishing that I were able to have that sort of memory, perhaps, I really don’t want it.  Perhaps what I really want is for no one to have that sort of memory, especially when it comes to my short comings.  I am grateful that I serve a God who has no memory and lots of grace when it comes to my short comings.  May human beings find that same grace and memory. 

    I spent most of today at an understand more about Islam workshop.  It was good to be reminded about differences and acceptance and love.  It was even more wonderful to be reminded that God, whatever we might choose to call that power or entity, loves us all.  I was in the same room with people of many faith traditions and because we wanted to, we all sat together, ate together, and communicated with each other.  It makes we wonder if we as a country really want to try to get along with others, or if we just say that we do.
    If we don’t start trying to figure out ways to make everyone able to hear the message that God loves them, I fear that we are on a slippery slope to promoting hate.  Things happen, often for reasons that we don’t understand.  I totally believe that this church has been put and lifted up into the place that we are because we are willing to stand on the front lines and say that yes, God does love you.  Whoever you are and whether we agree or not, God, in Gods infinite wisdom, loves each and every one of us.  May we always be renewed with this message.  Peace.

    I attended a youth forum last night.  Students from high schools and WSU attended and talked about how they are treated in school, what they need, and how they feel.  Some were GLBTQ and some were not.  All seemed to be honest and grateful for safe space and listening ears.  
    Some have great support systems.  Parents who care and love them unconditionally.  Others don’t have that support and feel alone and isolated.  I learned a lot.  I learned from the parents that were there as well.  How they feel powerless when the school administrators won’t protect their children.  How teachers and administrators can cover up and exclude themselves from the bullying rules and policies.
    Training, teaching, sharing, loving them into new space, so that they don’t feel threatened or scared or self-righteous, these are some of the ways that adults can help with the problems our youth are facing.  We as adults have to figure out ways to stand against prejudice and hate in every way that we can.  One of those ways is through education.  We must assume that everyone has good intentions and that part of the reason that they act the way they do is they don’t understand how hurtful their actions are.  At least it is a place to start.

    I’ve been thinking alot lately about words and how hurtful and how helpful they can be.  They truely are that two edged sword.  Is it the words that are bad or the attitude they are spoken with, or could it be a little of both along with our understanding based on our experience?  I’ve also been thinking about this in the context of the four agreements.  I think there is wisdom here to be garnered.
    Be impeccable with your word.  Sometimes there are no words to use that truely represent what one is thinking of feeling.  We might think we have said exactly what we mean, and then someone else tells us what we said and we wonder, Where did that come from?  I have come to realize that I need to speak what I thought I heard and sometimes more than once if there is any doubt in my mind what the person was saying to me.
    Don’t take anything personally.  This is I think about the hardest thing to do.  Why would you say it to me if it isn’t about me?  Sometimes, people just need to think out loud.  Sometimes, people don’t know who to direct comments to, so they say things to groups of people hoping that the right person will hear them and act on them.  Sometimes, people just want to hurt others with their words, and if we don’t take them personally, they are not as hurtful.
    Don’t make assumptions.  If I assume that all the words I hear are directed at me and to hurt me, I am going to be a pretty miserable person.  If I try to always assume good, then I can usually find the good in the situation.  If I can approach situations with the wonder of how the person came to the situation in this way, then I have opened the door for good instead of assuming bad.  I must admit, there are times that it is far easier to assume the bad then spend the time and energy to find the good.
    Always do your best.  I used to always think this was the norm.  That everyone did this.  That if someone said they wanted to do a job, that they would give it their all and work hard to do their best.  I have since learned that there are people who work hard, there are people who say they work hard, and there are people who want everyone else to believe they work hard.  I am not sure that we can always 100% of the time do our best, but we can sure work at it.  
    

    I just read a report that the GLSEN group will publish soon that has found that 9 out of 10 GLBT students are verbally harased during their school day, and half of all of those students are physically harassed.

.  Is this a problem with students or teachers or both?  I have been told by many of the students I have spoken with that part of the problem is that the administration in the schools turn their heads when they see or hear the harassment.  That is not ok.  This is the same type behavior that allowed the Holocaust to become a reality.  When Jews of that period were asked why they didn’t leave when they sent their children to other countries to be safe, their reply was that they believed that people would not let things get as bad as they did. They were sure that their neighboring countries and people who weren’t Jews would stand up for their rights.

            It is absolutely necessary that we do all we can do to insure the safety of our students in schools.  They have to be in school, there is no choice.  As adults, we must stand up for their rights, we must empower them to stand up for their own rights, and we must be there to support them in whatever way we can.  May all students, of any age, be free to be who they are, and empowered to love extravagantly in the reflection of God’s love.

    I was reading in the Congregations magazine by the Alban Institute, an article about politics and religion.  It addresses the issue of whether or not churches should engage in endorsing political candidates and how to honor the separation of church and state.  One of the issues that the author addresses is that  the separation of church and state is to protect the government.  He argues that it is equally important that the wall protect religion and religious people.  He speaks about the freedom of religion from political domination and contamination.  I thought it extremely helpful to think about the process in this way.  Political contamination.  I think the point that begs to be highlighted here is that God is not our pawn to throw around and pick to have on our side of the political playing field.
    My favorite quote out of this article is “However, we are not looking for a candidate who best represents the interests of Christians.  We are looking for a candidate who will best represent the authentic interests of all Americans.  For the interests of all the people and the interests of God are identical, one and the same.” (26)  If, and that is a mighty big word, if we could all look out for the interests of all people, we would not need to throw God around as if we needed the extra player on our team to ensure we win.

    I’ve been reading a new book entitle Embracing The Love Of God by James Bryan Smith.  There is a part in this book where the author is talking about accepting each other but not overlooking one anothers faults.  He says, “I need people who will hope for me always, expect much from me, and yearn for me to be as whole and complete as I can be.  To accept me as I am and then leave me as I am is not love, but apathy.” (54)
    I had to read this a couple of times to grasp the meaning.  I wonder if we don’t really do a disservice to people when we don’t expect and even sometimes demand that they embrace and reflect the love of God.  What might that look like?  As I think about it, I envision people not listening to others who degrade or belittle other people.  I envision a community of people who love without boundaries, a community of people who expect one another to grow deeper and fuller in their love for each other and their God.  This will only happen when we learn to sit and listen to each other.  I wait for the day when listening occurs more often than speaking.